Give me back my borrowed pants

Have you ever had a friend borrow something and not given it back to you? Of course you have, we all have. In fact you've probably that friend to someone else. That said it takes nothing away from the annoyance of the situation. So what's the proper etiquette? How are you suppose to ask for something that belongs to you in the first place. That's always what annoys me the most. Why do I even have to ask. Shouldn't this person know that they ought to have given it back to me by now. Sigh!

Right about now, you're probably thinking, the strait forward approach is always the best. Just ask and get it over with. Thank you very much for you phyco-savy but I'm not talking about the cases that involve your best buddy-girl-friend, where you can just show up at her place unannounced and pick it up yourself. I'm talking about the delicates socially incorrect possible faut-pas situations. Like the time my ex-boyfriends mom and I got stuck in the rain and I let her go home with my Oxford U original and expensive, mega big umbrella. I didn't mind lending it to her then, I'm pretty casual with material possessions. But when the boyfriend and I broke up the week after, the plates sorted shifted. Don't get me wrong I had nothing against his mom but I really wished I'd let her soak that day. I just couldn't muster the courage to show up at her house and play the straight forward card. “Hello Mrs P__, remember me, I dumped your son last week, would you mind giving me back my umbrella?” I couldn't really ask him either, he was so broken. It have been plane cruelty. “Yeah buddy, I don't care much about your feelings, but I do care about my umbrella, it's got serious sentimental value related to it's price tag, do you mind?” I don't want that on my record. You get my drift, sometimes it' not that easy. So here's how I happen to loose my pants and a couple of very nice bran new shirts.

It was a beautiful summer day in July. It happened to be “yard sale” weekend in my small town community. I invited Linette, one of my city dweller girlfriend to come and discover some of the finest junk you can get for cheep in the country. It was all pleasantries and enjoyable snooping on the neighbourhood lawns. Linette happened to be pregos at the time. Unplanned and unwanted at first, she was in her fourth month and she was making the best of it. We talked a lot that day and I became quite sympathetic to her situation. The marriage was falling apart, the money tight, the other children could sense the tension, so of course they were acting up...non stop. Altogether things were bad, the future was grim. Linette was putting on a brave front and I admired her for it. She regarded this weekend in the country as a perfect time to unwind and have a care free two days. For my part I was completely under the spell of her confession. I was compelled to be a Christian. At first, I really wanted to say, “Dump the husband, grab the children and run”. But it wasn't my place to say that, you know how it is? So during our moments of silence I racked my brains for ways to make things easier for her. What would a true girlfriend do in such situation? Bring out the ice cream and take her on a shopping spree that Visa wont let her forget? Not wise,I decided. She was broke and ice cream made her nauseous... a pregnancy thing. That's when I did what I thought was the next best thing. What do pregnant woman want? What do all woman want for that matter? To look good, of course. Despite the tiredness and the pounds adding up, a pregnant woman wants to look her best when she comes out of the house. My friend had one pair of pregnancy pant and a bunch of shirts that would not last another two months. So... charitable me, invited Linette into that special corner of my walk-in-closet were I happen to keep my pregnancy clothes. Yep, that's right, I had a corner for pregnancy emergencies.

Here's where the story get really sentimental. What person in their right mind byes pregnancy clothes just in case, you're wondering? Well, it wasn't just in case, I too had my share of sadness in life. About three months earlier was pregnant. Pre-motherhood lasted 17 weeks for me, and then it was over. One more time. After we lost the baby and my husband and I were plunged into the type of sadness that only parents can truly understand. Parents have a way about them. They start loving their baby before they've even met. If by chance the meeting never occurs. Then it's a loss, a great loss.

As the weekend was unfolding, I was listening to my friend talk about her unwanted pregnancy. I was watching her carry her beautiful rounded belly around the neighbourhood the way I was carrying my grief in my guts and in my heart. That said, it doesn't mean I wasn't happy to share. If I wasn't I wouldn't have done it. It's always pleasant to bring joy in someone else life. They say that there's more joy in giving then in receiving. I think that true. It made me smile to see her smile. And boy was she ever smiling. She was so grateful I almost cried. I think both of us were would have cried if it wasn't such a beautiful day outside.

So that's how it happened. As I went to bed that evening, my heart and my mind were not in tune. These were not just clothes, it was a sharp reminder of how we'd been trying to conceive for just so long. The voice in me could not be quieted. It was wondering aloud again. “Should keep trying of if we should just give up already.” “Should we adopt? “If we do, would an adopted child fill the gap, or would their for ever be a whole in my heart”. The little corner of hope in my closet was now empty. Yet I wanted to believe that the act of sharing was not the act of giving up.

That beautiful summer weekend happened two years ago. Now it's September and my time has finally come. I'm five months pregos. It should be a boy and we are on our toes.

Now back to my friend Linette! Linette is long done with the pregnancy. She's had a beautiful baby boy, she named him Lukas and she's happier then ever. Okay, the marital situation is still bad, babes cant solve everything can they?

My clothes? Still not back. Really...she has not returned a thing in two years. Have I mentioned it? Of course I did! If I remember correctly my exact words were. “Guess what Linette! I'm pregnant. Now girlfriend, you need to give me my clothes back, I'll be needing them soon”. That was four months ago. Can you imagine? Now, I cannot stress enough how important looks are for women when their body is full hormones and acting funny. It's not vain, looking good is more like a sanity keeper. In a matter of months you've got nothing left that fits and you look like a fool with your tight shirts and bulging bra. The closet is important, and expensive. So you go out, you take for ever to pick something that matches your style and fits your belly. Then you go home and your happy again. So that's what I did. I just gave up and when shopping again. I did ask Linette a couple more times. I did get the “I'm so sorry I forgot again, I'll bring them to you next week” but that was in the beginning, eventually I just stop seeing her as often.

You know what the sad thing about this is? I'll tell you what it is. Even though I parted with my pregnancy clothes, I kept the hope alive. I knew that one day my turn would come.

My friend had no hope for me. She must have given them away to a friend in need, someone she felt would have better use of it the me. She will never be able to tell me that. That's just not the type of thing you say. So we just go on, when we see each other, we don't talk about it. I'm not naked and it's not the end of the world I guess. It just makes me sad that's all.